Free At Last

My testimony, by Cynthia Buetow

     I found salvation just about eight months ago. One thing about salvation that I believe many people misunderstand is, we do not have to be obedient to the Lord to find salvation. We find salvation and then become obedient to the Lord. The Lord then places a living spirit inside of us, which only desires to serve Him. After we have accepted Jesus Christ as our Savior and hand over our life to the Lord, we can stop worrying about our addictions and bondage and turmoil. If you truly believe in the Lord he will show you in your own life how Jesus blood will remove the sin from your blood. I know this is true because I have experienced this myself. It is truly a miracle.

     Before I found salvation eight months ago, I was completely convinced that there was no way I would ever ever ever be able to turn away from smoking, drinking, fornication, clubs and all the other sinful ways of the world. Explicit acts are on public television, drinking alcohol is expected by society and recreational use of prescription pills is on the rise like never before. Money is valued above morals and religion is a joke. I was completely hopeless.

               I began daily by simply getting on my knees and praying to the Lord; pouring my heart out to him; begging him to remove the desires for the ways of the world from my heart. I was told, "Cynthia, you cannot serve the Lord and the enemy at the same time." So, the fact that I knew I was not living for the Lord drove me crazy, but my bondage had a hold of me and there was nothing I could do about it. I continued to pray more and more each day regardless. One night I watched the story of Jesus on film and I said "the prayer" at the end of the film declaring passionately that I accepted Jesus Christ as my Savior; that I believe He died on the cross and rose again on the third day for the forgiveness of my sins. And then I continued on with my life as normal.

     During this time, I, as a young single mother of two daughters was facing many horrific realities in life: the death of my brother, grandfather and close cousin. My parents 20 year marriage was in limbo to say the very least, my new baby almost died and I was just about homeless among other personal tragedies as well. Each day I cried, feeling alone in this great big world full of uncaring people. It seemed that everyone I reached out to just spit in my face; I was completely lost.

    But, inconspicuously everything had begun to change. Slowly but surely my desires to drink went away. Then my desires to smoke went away and my desires to go to clubs and bars went away as well. No music brought joy to my heart unless it spoke of the love of God. I began giving boxes after boxes to the poor of useless items I had held on to for years. My desire to dress revealing was gone. Sexual desires fled from my heart. My words were no longer foul. I desire for the word of God, rather than the sin of the world. The Lord led me to a church with the most loving, genuine people I have ever known (at Amador Christian Center). I found forgiveness in my heart for those who had wronged me. I found love in my heart for all living creatures. I became a new person, I do not know how but I am eternally grateful to my Lord. The Lord sends me clear signs of his presence and now I have excitement about the day I reach heaven, not fear for the day I reach death.

     My family has seen the presence of the Lord living in me, and they as well have turned to the Lord. My parents gave their hearts to the Lord and their marriage is restored. My biological father has also given his life to the Lord and he has had an anger taken out of him that he has had my whole life. And as for me, the Lord has blessed my children and I with a home and a love that we never even knew existed.

     But it takes effort, every day I insist on reading the bible or watching films that are based on the bible and praying constantly. I go to church twice a week and stayed filled with the love and word of God. If I do not, I know the first chance satin gets to take me back he will try. I see it like this; I am constantly climbing a rope and at the top of the rope is heaven, but if I let go, it will be a long, hard fall to the bottom and then I will have to start climbing all over again. Never give up; never stop climbing, no matter how tired you get, no matter how many people try to pull you down. God bless everyone!